Coping with the loss of a loved one

About two weeks before he started his freshman year of high school, Jason Carriveau’s father died of a fatal illness.

Almost two years afterward, Jason is hanging out with his friends in his house, with the door opened to the garage and the car stereo playing loud the popular hits. He has a vibrant smile and friendly attitude.

The high school sophomore participates in many extracurricular activities, such as FBLA, student council, basketball, and football. He helps his community as a part of the Fargo Fire Explorers.

However, the path from grieving back to normal life was a difficult journey for Jason. Having someone walk the journey alongside made all the difference.

Shortly after Jason’s father died, he began the Hospice of Red River Valley’s Youth Journeys Program, a partner program of United Way of Cass-Clay. The focus of the Journeys Program is to safely bring young people through their grief journeys.

“Part of the role of a guy is being tough – you can’t cry,” Jason, 16, said. “Journeys helped me out with some of the emotions.”

Jason attended support groups at his high school and at Hospice. He also received individual counseling. In confidential, group meetings, the teens discussed their losses and emotions.

“It’s hard not to have a father figure around, to just play catch in the yard, go for rides, have guy talks, do stuff together … I can’t really do that now,” Jason said.

Sharing his emotions and hearing stories from other teens in similar situations helped him through the toughest times. Now, he acts as a mentor to students in his school, talking to classmates who are struggling with the recent loss of a loved one.

“(With Journeys) you pass on what you learned, and you get to meet people. I like meeting people,” Jason said, smiling.

Although skeptical at first, Jason said he enjoyed the first meeting because the Hospice personnel made it fun. He said the program has had lasting impacts on his life.

“(The Hospice people) are willing to help. They make you feel better and give you self-assurance,” he said.